Jonno

            ‘And how long will madam be staying?’

            ‘I’m afraid I don’t know. It was to be three nights, but now I don’t know. Will that be a problem?’

            ‘I shouldn’t think so, madam.’ He looked at her sourly. Bloody women. Why can’t they get themselves organised? ‘I’m sorry your companion couldn’t join you after all.’

            ‘So am I.’ You wouldn’t believe just how sorry. ‘What time is dinner this evening?’

            ‘Five thirty, madam ...’

            ‘Thank you.’

            ‘... to accommodate the theatre-goers, you understand,’ he explained to her back as she made her way up the stairs, nodding absently. Three years! Three years gone in one angry conversation.

*

            The light on the answer-phone was on when Katie returned home from work. Automatically, she pressed the ‘play-back’ buttons. Going through to the bedroom to change her clothes, voices drifted in.

             ‘Catherine? Can you please call your sister. She’s been trying to call you for days. It’s about the holiday plans.’ Oh, mother! ‘Today, please.’ Why do you interfere? If Jools had called I would know, wouldn’t I? Why do you think I have this blasted machine?

            ‘Hi, Kate. About holiday plans. Give me a call. OK?’ Ok, OK, OK! I’ve got the message. Sorry, Jools. It’s mother again. Why does she annoy me so much? Don’t bother, I know why.

            ‘So, Cath. You’ve got one of these confounded contraptions too, have you?’ Hello, Dad. I’m fine. How are you? ‘Could you ask your mother what her plans are for the next week or so?  There are a few things I need to collect from the house.’ Find out for yourself, you scheming old sod.

            ‘Kay?’ Hi, Jonno. A smile creased her face. ‘Cancel all plans for tomorrow!’ Why? What’s happened? ‘I’ve got a research day and wondered if you could give me a hand.’ You get paid for it, Jonno. I don’t. ‘You’re so good at it; you make it so much easier.’ Humph. Why me? ‘Two thirty. At the Central. We’ll go out for dinner afterwards. OK?’ You’re assuming too much, Jonno. And no mention of next weekend. You can’t have forgotten; you’re the one who thought of it. Still, I’ve booked up now, you’ll have to go.

*

            Stupid! You are a stupid fool, Catherine Jane Simmonds! Jonno didn’t want a weekend with me. It was one of his daydreams. He’d wanted a weekend with one of his ‘flimsies’ he’s mentioned. Well, daydreams don’t work, Jonno. People aren’t like that. They can’t be. Sure, it’s OK to have ideals, but you have to recognise them for what they are.

            I have ideals too, you know. No, you probably don’t, we never discussed it, did we? No, really. I understand. We didn’t know each other so well, after all, did we?

            I considered you to be more than just a friend. I told you things about myself that I haven’t even told my best friend. And you didn’t have enough respect for me to remember what I’d said to you, or you to me.

*

            Katie travelled by bus to meet Jonathan. As they worked the weather closed in making the afternoon end prematurely. The rain started as they walked to the bus stop, falling in huge drops.

            ‘As we can’t go away this weekend, I’ve got tickets for that play you wanted to see.’

            ‘Can’t go? What do you mean, can’t go? Jonno, it’s all booked and everything. Why didn’t you tell me before?’

            ‘I never intended ... I didn’t think ... I don’t ...’

            ‘What are you trying to say? You never intended to get that involved? You didn’t think I’d take you seriously? You don’t want to go? Am I right?’

            Jonathan opened his mouth to protest that Katie had got it totally wrong. He turned to face her, but seeing a flush on her cheeks and streetlights flash in her eyes he knew that she wouldn’t accept what he said, whether it was the truth or not. He shut his mouth and looked away.

            ‘Are you afraid it wouldn’t live up to your daydreams? Well, no, I don’t suppose it would. But then life doesn’t, does it? It’s one of the sad facts of life, Jonno. You can’t have everything you want and sometimes you have to compromise.’

            ‘Kay, you’re right. I’m sorry.’ She turned to him. ‘I should have told you.’

            ‘Oh! Jonno!’ She strode away from him towards to the centre of town.

*

            ‘Excuse me, madam. We have others staying here alone. Would you care for company?’ enquired the Head Waiter.

            ‘No, thank you.’ Jonno made such an event of having dinner out; the right wine with the right course ... And always with company. It became such a bore. ‘I prefer to eat alone.’

            ‘As you wish.’ Katie was handed a menu and left to peruse for a while. She decided on the stuffed mushroom starter and a sweet. That would be adequate. Jonno would be horrified.

*

            ‘Kay! Kay, please! Wait!’ Jonathan hurried after her. ‘Kay!’

            ‘I have nothing more to say.’

            ‘What about dinner?’

            ‘Tonight? I don’t think so, Jonno.’

            ‘But ...’

            ‘Think about it.’ She could see her bus coming and joined the end of the queue.

            ‘The play, next week then.’

            ‘I won’t be able to go, Jonno.’

            ‘Why not?’

            ‘If you remember, I have a hotel reservation for next weekend. I’m not cancelling.’

            ‘You’re going – on your own?’

            ‘Of course. Why not?’

            ‘But, Kay ...’

            ‘But what?’ She turned to him, a challenge in her eyes.

            ‘Nothing.’

            ‘Don’t look so scandalised, Jonno. Women do it all the time. I may even stay a few more days.’ She stepped onto the bus, shaking raindrops from her coat as she took her ticket. ‘I booked two rooms, Jonno.’

            Katie sat looking at Jonathan through the grimy window. His hair, plastered to his head, channelled the rain under his collar and into ears and eyes, making him blink furiously. As the bus pulled away, Katie brushed the water from her cheeks and lashes.

*

            ‘Your theatre tickets, madam.’

            ‘But I only ordered one.’ She suddenly looked up and smiling, offered the seat opposite. Katie looked at him for a long time while he read the menu.

            ‘I cancelled your room.’

            Jonathan smiled at her.

            ‘I know.’

Rebecca Mills

© 2 January 1990